Tuesday, March 12, 2013

you know you are sick when...

i have come down with this nasty little bugger of an ear/throat infection thing and have been mostly bedridden since last friday, so i have tried to beat my cabin fever by lethargically tweeting oddities that have proven to me that i am indeed really sick. i've organized them here for you all to see. what else do i have better to do? probably sleep, which is all i've done :(

you know you are sick when...

* your ears are so sensitive to noise, that you have requested the family to turn down the television at least 5 decibels.

* when House Hunters International (a favorite) comes on tv, you shrug your shoulders, mutter "meh," and turn it off.

* your evening routine consists of popping two horse pills and a dose of nyquil before heading to bed at 10.

* you finally muster the courage to take a shower, and emerge entirely exhausted and out of breath.

* your toothpaste tastes a whole lot like black licorice. and that's just horrible.

* your cocoa butter chapstick has traded flavors with vanilla cake batter. & maybe you're delusional, but you don't quite mind the trade off.

* water tastes better than any other drink.

* changing your clothing takes 3 times longer than usual.

* you feel a chill, so you pop in the thermometer just in case you have a fever again.

* no matter if you slept all night and took long naps during the day, you are still so exhausted.

* you've become best friends with your cats and they are sleeping closer to you at night because they want you to feel better too. at least, that's what your sick, delusional mind thinks.

* do i have a show on tonight? i don't have a clue because i don't know the day or date. or even if it's still winter outside. 

* you want to read that book so badly, but holding the pages open to read is so freaking hard.

* forget about listening to music, that shit will burn a hole on your uber-sensitive ears.

* you draw yourself a nice warm bath, which hasn't occurred in a year, with stress relief bubbles and a candle in hopes it miraculously cures you.

* you miss the taste of food sooo much.

* chicken noodle soup has become breakfast, lunch, and dinner. well, actually, just lunch & dinner because you sleep through breakfast usually. and sometimes dinner.

* you are watching a tv show, but you aren't really watching it. you most likely are staring at moving images with the volume close to mute.

* your favorite pair of cozy, over-sized sweatpants have been glued to your hips since the very first signs of the black plague that has encompassed your life. in fact, they probably should be washed. 

* you never drink tea. but now you do.

* you've finally depleted the supply of christmas tissues in the house so mom can put out the 'spring' supply. which you will probably go through as well.

* you think you are feeling better, so you start to catch up on your favorite tv shows (i know, big steps), and you stop halfway because you have no idea what is going on.

* writing this entire post has worn you out and now you need a nap...

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