Monday, February 25, 2013

the oscars! (gif heavy!)

the oscars came to our LED televisions last night and i settled down for a long night of prom dresses, awkward camera shots, pre-rehearsed speeches, and seth mcfarlane's potentially inappropriate monologues. don't get me wrong, there were celebrities who looked absolutely stunning and some noteworthy moments during the 3 hour show. i'll address them here.

the (more important) winners

* Best Picture: Argo
* Best Actor: Daniel Day-Lewis in Lincoln
* Best Actress: Jennifer Lawrence in Silver Linings Playbook
* Best Supporting Actor: Christoph Waltz in Django Unchained
* Best Supporting Actress: Anne Hathaway in Les Miserables


ohh jennifer lawrence, so much happened with you last night! on top of winning best actress, jennifer fell up the steps to accept her award, muttered "fuck" quietly to herself, couldn't let us know the brand of clothing she was wearing, announced she was hungry, and gave the finger to cameras after receiving the award. but its funny because regardless, it just made her seem more "human." she's kind of adorable.


flippin' the bird

when seth macfarlane did the skit for "we saw your boobs," jennifer lawrence was mentioned for having never shown her boobs in a movie before. this was her reaction, LOL:

for some reason, and i'm not sure if it has to do with her previous movies, many people seem to really dislike Anne Hathaway. i am not one of them. i have no problem with her, and i'm not quite sure what people see. does she appear to have a large ego? maybe its because she looks so fabulous in short hair, women are jealous? tell me people! well, it didn't help her case last night when she showed up wearing a pale pink Prada gown... with the most unfortunately placed darted seams in the bust area. i couldn't help but look at her bust area, feeling uncomfortable for her. her saving grace? her adorable growing hair and her classic makeup. oh, and maybe that little award for best supporting actress. yeah, that helped too.

* favorite dresses last night? definitely has to go to Halle Berry, Sandra Bullock, and Stacey Keibler. sleek, metallic, sparkly. it appears all these ladies have something in common and i just adore it. no puffy prom dresses here, just grown up chic

oh & a few celebrities made us all feel like they were simply too good for the Oscars and for all us mere peasants. some to mention? robert downey jr. and joaquin phoenix.

yes, that's right clap for me.

yeah, whatever.

some valid points to mention from the evening's festivities: 

* i think we could have done without Kristen Stewart's "i just came from a grungy rock star's funeral" get-up, awkward demeanor, forgetting to speak when its her turn, and a just overall disinterest in being there. can we stop inviting her to events?

* renee zellweger may have been loopy on tranquilizers & had slight botox done or.... is that just the way she usually looks? 

* channing tatum danced for us, but decided not to take his clothes off? was there a reason...?

* the one french dude during the Les Mis skit really went to town on his solos. like, obnoxiously went to town.

* russell crowe sang??? like, for reals?

* was a bit confused why the tiger from Life of Pi wasn't in attendance. admit it, he was the real star of the movie.

* why do the oscars go over by a half hour every single year? if we took out the first half hour of macfarlane's singing, we would have been fine (or the random awards no one cares about).

* so every time jennifer aniston would say "anna karenina," i thought she was stuttering. it wasn't her fault either, try saying it.

* bradley cooper looked adorable and brought his mother with him. sat front row, and won nothing :( wah. he rocked in Silver Linings Playbook. in fact, much better than Lawrence did, in my opinion. its tough being up against Daniel Day-Lewis.

* jennifer garner is a cutie, but i'm not sure why big tufts of fabric encompassed her entire backside. quote my mother, "you can't even sit in that...thing."

* robert deniro simply didn't give two craps about his hair: 

* can i just mention anne hathaway's nipples again... i mean, darted fabric in her dress? ugh, just noooo.

* daniel day-lewis seems like the coolest guy ever. he even displayed a great sense of humor while receiving his award. oh, and made history as the only man to win 3 best actor oscars. go him!

* kristen chenoweth was an awful idea for a host on the red carpet. everything was about her. "yeah, you're up for best actress... so how do you like my dress? look how much smaller i am than you..." bad news bears.

* the last 5 minutes of the show, which i hope everyone had turned off the television after seeing ben affleck tear up accepting the award for argo, we all could have done without. seriously, hearing chenoweth and macfarlane sing was not my ideal lullaby to fall asleep to. it screeched through my entire body. 

well that's my oscars wrap-up! you probably don't have to skip through those atrocious 3 hours you have on DVR anymore, right?? talk to you all lataaaa ;)

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